The Curse

Nothing changes. This exchange between Homer, and Bart pretty much sums up how I feel right now:

He's bigger than me, faster than me, stronger than me, and he already has more friends around the plant than I do.

Bart: You make me sick, Homer. You're the one who told me I could do anything if I just put my mind to it!

Homer: Well, now that you're a little bit older, I can tell you that's a crock! No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you.

My friend who caddied for me today, who has seen me play about 200 times, said to me that he has never seen me play as well as I did today. And yet, it wasn't enough.

I didn't let my team down (we finished a solid second) and winning my third match would not have made my team win. I beat my two other opponents like red headed step children, and I don't think there is a single shot where I didn't try my hardest.

I just got beat.

When I was in debating, there is no one who wanted to debate me before the final round, but most of my "peers" knew that I could never win in the final. Why? I can't close. On the first tee, in front of a crowd, I hit it into the rough. Nerves of paper mache.

With two holes left, after climbing back from three down after nine, and with the possibility of victory in sight, I hit it into the trees, and then hit it from the trees to more trees behind the green. I hit it purposefully OFF a cart path to scramble to bogie. My opponent made a boring par on top of my miracle bogie. One down.

On 18th, after I watched my opponent hit it into the trees, I hit it into the trees on the other side. I hit a nutter (from the trees) 230 yards to position A while he was kicking it around in the rough. I missed a straight 20' for birdie, and watched as he poured in a 19' downhill slider for par to beat me. The crowd clapped politely.

I clenched my teeth and smiled, congratulating him on his victory. I hate losing. I wanted to murder someone. I was mad. For the first time in about five years, I was really mad.

I got beat. I choked. And while I didn't let the team down, I feel like i let myself down because someone who is clearly a better golfer than I am managed to beat me on the last hole by sinking a hail mary.

Maybe the curse is finally starting to go away after all.