Beyond Borders

Nobody realizes that Speedy Gonzales (D - Warner Brothers) was really just a border jumper. He ran really fast in one direction. What was he running from again?

I want everyone to watch as I actually oppose a policy on environmental grounds. Really.

The construction of the fence/ditch combo along the American and Mexican border is well underway, and despite some architectural problems, the logic seems pretty simple

Dig a deep ditch, build a fence on the other side. Repeat once.

There are lots of principled reasons as to why this is a bad idea, but to date my favourite argument is how this will affect the Road Runner (D - CA) and Wilye Coyote (R - NM). He will catch her/him, corner her/him, and eat her/him. Seriously- a large ditch and fence will interrupt the nomadic migration patterns that are particularly important to desert carnivores. Because it is hard enough to get a decent meal in New Mexico as it is.

Similar arguements in Alaska/Yukon are not as convincing. The reason for this is that the carnivores (R - not PETA) along the wildlife preserve actually eat people. That's bad.

Carnivores. I have always believed that species erradication could be accomplished safely provided that the species being erradicated was a) an apex predator or b) one of many middle pack carnivores and c) scavengers. The perfect example is sharks (I - HI). There is something else in the ocean that can accomplish the role they play and not eat humans by accident.

Carniovers have the best PR in the world. If their name didn't sound like carnival, I am sure we would be more interested in hunting them down and killing them. Their defenders (D - PETA) lament their trials at our hands and defend their majestic nature. I admit, if you want to just walk around and look majestic, I will leave you alone. Try to eat me or one of my friends, and we will have a problem.

Taking carnivores will not have an impact on the ecosystem at all because they prey on the weak and the sick. You know what else will kill the weak and the sick? Their weakness and sickness. By killing the weak we keep the heard strong. That combined with other smaller carnivores and human game hunters. There is nothing that helps me feel more like a man than using a semi-automatic weapon to kill a small rodent.

So, what does this have to do with borders? Apparently the key sticking issue in the ongoing pipeline debate(s) is the effect that the construction will have on carnivore migration. I'm sorry- you want me to go up north to Alaska and build a pipeline knowing full well that a pack of wolves might eat me? I concede their environment to them and will buy an electric car.

The part I don't get is how these carnivores have survived so long without pipeline workers to feed on. Eating Santa's elves I suppose.