Clinton v. Obama

Except this week, it isn't Hillary.

My favourite show is "this week" with George Stephanopolous. This week, "This Week" had Mr. Obama on for the better part of 30 minutes. During that 30 minutes, he was asked questions - none of them were about Hillary.

On the expert panel, it wasn't Obama v. Hillary. It was Obama v. the Clintons.

For TWO YEARS I have lamented the perils to feminism of having the first "real shot" candidate being so closely tied to another person and their legacy. It is now, in very real terms, no longer just about Hillary.

Of course, for the past week, I am not sure Bill has been much help. I haven't seen a hatchet man like this since Bob Dole. Of course, as a result, Hillary is unfairly spun as the Tammy Wynette of Politics standing behind, not by, her man.

Premier for Life

I have to say - Ontario's tough talking Premier has me wanting a Chavez like extension to his term.

For your edification- here why I am so happy

THUD. That "thud" you just heard was the sound of his balls being dropped onto the table. They are made of Dofasco steel. I am not going to offer an opinion about whether or not he can legally impose a tariff on South Korean goods- I don't have to. As the Premier said this morning "I am not as pessimistic as some of my advisers." WTO, Scmubble-U(sp?)-TO. Even if he doesn't impose a tariff persea, he is erected a non-tariff barrier to South Korea products. In the Premier's own words - "Two can play at that game."

All I know is that he is the only guy who is doing anything to protect manufacturing jobs in Canada. THE ONLY ONE. As the rest of Canada should know, when Ontario falls, so do you. The solution is not cutting taxes. The solution is investment - and until the feds pony up some cash, he is going to make working in their jurisdiction more difficult. I *love* it.

Besides, 99 out of 100 times when the Premiers are sqawkin' about something, it is outside of their jurisdiction. It is about time Ontario stood up and picked a fight. Lord knows (pun intended) that Danny Williams has picked enough fights in areas that are much further outside of his constitutional purview.

And don't even get me started on Alberta, Quebec, Manitoba and Saskatchewan who seem to think they can negotiate treaties with other countries. Or Alberta. Or Alberta. Or Alberta. I guess we only get upset with provinces when they do something that might undermine existing foreign policy priorities. When they establish their own, however...

Say it ain't Zo

He is that crazy

If there is ANYONE in the game of basketball, no - the history of professional sports - who can come back from this, it is Alonzo Mourning.

I wrote this two years ago:

Is Alonzo Mourning the most inspiring athlete of all time?

Yes. This mother fucker is crazy.

Less than two years ago, Zo had one of his kidney’s transplanted and had focal glomerulosclerosis. He was traded four times, and after rightfully refusing to go to Toronto (the graveyard for washed up superstars) he landed back on his old team, which had become Shaq’s team. When the heat were up 20 in his first come back game, the ref had to stop the game because the chants for “Zo” were so loud that no one could hear the whistle. Zo got into the game, blocked a shot and the place went bananas.

I saw him practice a few months ago. He was the first on the floor and the last to leave it. His biceps are bigger than my legs. He blocks people’s heads when he misses their shots.When he retires tomorrow (and now that he has a ring, he has no reason to keep going except the fact that he is crazy), he will retire as probably the most menacing defensive presence in the league.

When he was first drafted by Charlotte, he was forced to play centre because they already had a power forward named Larry Johnson (another UNLV alum, of whom I was a big fan). It wasn’t until he moved onto Miami that he really became the first option, but he never got to be the power forward he was designed to be.

I believe that if Zo had played power-forward like he did at Georgetown behind Dikembe Mutombo (seriously, he has played for every team) he would have had a career that rivaled Karl Malone’s. Except this way, he has a ring, something the Mailman never got. I love Alonzo Mourning even though he played for New Jersey

Foreign Policy Experience

So, if foreign policy experience was actually that important, the only qualified candidate would be Gov/Secretary George Richardson (D- I freed the next John McCain).

This view has been rebuffed by history. To be blunt, you can't have foreign policy experience to the unique challenges facing your term in office because the world changes every day. What possible experience could there be for 9-11? I know that if Al Gore (D - How ironic is it that Florida is the state that is going to be the most affected by Climate Change) was in charge at the time he would have had to bomb Paris to prove to his critics (external and internal) that he could be tough when he needed to be - remembering that Ba'athists cheered when Mr. Clinton (D - First Man) defeated GHWB I (R - Maine). Mr. Bush however, was (lamentably) dealt a royal flush when those planes made their tragic descent, knowing he could use them to justify every looney thing he wanted to do. Of course, he fucked it up. He could have slow played it way better AND bombed Paris.

Here it is. Foreign Policy experience isn't ACTUAL foreign policy experience. It is being involved in extra-governmental negotiations where the actors are not necessarily all rational. The Governor of (say) Michigan has more foreign policy experience than any other type of candidate because he has to deal with crazy auto unions, the government of Ontario, the Government of Canada, the State legislature, the bureaucrazy, the Governor of Wisconsin, and (gah) the Federal Government of the United States.

Being the head of an executive for a government that has to deal with other governments is foreign policy experience. The key difference is why/how you deal with them. But it is experience which serves as a decent bell-weather as to how an individual will hold that position. It is no surprise that Ronald Reagan (Gov of California, former SAG president) and Bill Clinton (Governor of Arkansas) were very good at emerging issues in foreign policy while Gerald Ford (D - Leader of the Opposition in the House) was very bad at it. He did inherit his biggest problem - but so did his predecessor (R - the CIA killed who so I could bomb what?).

Things are no different in 2008. Senators get foreign policy briefings. Sometimes. They also have ideas that get criticized by other Senators. It is an old boys club that vets the foreign policy decisions that a President is dumb enough to put in a treaty. That is a very small part of foreign policy.

Frankly, anyone who doesn't think that Hillary Clinton is schooled in diplomacy is a blithering idiot. Her expereince is completely different kind of foreign policy. Without sounding like a pig, it is the type of foreign policy that can be equated with "why shoe stores should have a copy of maxim magazine." Sometimes, Maxim provides insight that will make people think. Other times, it is a distraction that allows for real work to be done behind the scenes. You would be surprised how few women's clothing stores have men's magazines lying around, yet have all kinds of women's magazines. Why the hell do you want women looking at magazines while they are in their store?

Hillary Clinton was excellent at it. Not because she is a woman but because she proved to be an able diplomat - who was herself a very impressive person regardless of the (relative) success of her husband. She knew that diplomacy is often about distraction. The only person who would be better at entertaining the spouses of foreign leaders is her husband. And Maybe Margaret Trudeau.

Who framed Roger Clemens?

Here is a tip to you if you are ever in trouble, and entirely innocent: Don't do 60 Minutes.

God- there was three stories on 60 Minutes - and all three interviewees looked guilty as hell. Of course, one was President Musharaf saying that Bhutto brought it on herself, and the second was a former Boston mob hitman. They all looked like killers. One of them is a killer, the other is a dictator. The third- the greatest pitcher in the modern era. Great.

Is Roger guilty? Of what? Using an illegal substance or breaking a rule that didn't exist?

Frankly, I don't care anymore. I just wish the witch hunt would end. Why are we here? Because Jose Canseco thinks he deserves to be in the Hall of Fame, and Barry Bonds didn't know when to quit.

And Congress is now in charge.

Jesus.

Welcome home...

I really hate the snow. Honestly. Worst thing to come from the sky ever. In Florida, they don't have snow. On cruise ships, they make it artificially for the drinks. I am seriously considering moving to where it doesn't snow.

Since I have been gone, Mike Huckabee and Barrack Obama won the Iowa Caucuses. Big Whup. There is a lot to be said about foreign policy, but come on...Rudy and Hillary are still the odds on favourites. Iowa, like NH and SC, are only so valuable.

California sued the US federal government to allow it to regulate new vehicle standards in-state. Good luck with that, considering that the USSC said (just a few months ago) "you can only regulate new cars if the Federal government (US EPA) gives you a waiver from the existing requirements under the Clean Air Act." Oh well- I can't wait to read Scalia's majority opinion on this one. Several other states have joined on. I honestly believe that the Lawyers lobby have pushed for this because their billings on this must be enormous. Not to mention the fact that every US decision reverberates to every jurisdiction in the world.

John Crosbie was appointed LG of Newfoundland and Labrador. I can't wait for Bill Vanderslam to be appointed same in BC.

Some new years resolutions for AH:

Eat more fruit. (Wine is grape juice, right?)

Use less Power. (I use less than you, but I could still use less.)

Lose enough weight to fit into my leather pants. Comfortably.

Post more about funny shit. Post less about stupid shit. Post less about shit only I care about.

Get my stand-up routine down to 40 minutes and take it on the road.

And, finally, spend less time goofing off when I shouldn't be - working smarter to play more.