Catches your money, just like flies

Last night I finally saw Spiderman 3 - and I say finally because I had the shakes as of 12:01 Friday morning when it was available for public consumption.

At the outset, let me say how I was the only one who laughed out loud when Spiderman saved Gwen Stacey from her fall. The irony was delicious. A sudden fall, indeed. And having her dad there and surviving was even better.

This movie was not X-2 or Batman Begins- it has problems. It is, however, the best of the three, in my opinion.

First: Too much plot. The beginning of the movie was just plain dumb. Less Peter Parker, more fighting. The love interest model for superhero movies should have died with Daredevil. Similarly, 'evil Peter' with the costume on was over the top - a dance sequence? Puh-lease. He just looked like an un-dedicated Marilyn Manson fan.

The first two movies, however, had the same elements of idiocy sprinkled into them. As does every superhero movie- somehow, you have to keep your girlfriend in the theatre with you.

Second: They openly stole a plot twist from Batman, but at least it was a good one. Except, in so doing they undermined the entire "With great power..." theme. In Batman, having the man who became the Joker being responsible for killing Mr. and Mrs. Wayne was an excellent plot twist. It did, however, undermine the random precision of crime that Batman was so fond of foiling- it was a "oh, that's cool" moment.

Having the Sandman involved in Uncle Ben's murder was so obviously a rip-off, it hurt my face- but as it turns out, Parker is now (at least partially) absolved of the guilt that he has for letting Ben Parker's murderer escape him. I know about "but for" analysis - simply put, the dude Spiderman let escape did not pull the trigger. No more guilt and all of the lessons learned.

That rant aside, this movie was still very good. The fight scenes were awesome.

Venom poses an interesting problem for a script writer. How can you involve a character whose original origin took 5.2 years of comic writing and incremental developments into a central movie character in a matter of seconds? True- it would make for a far better HBO special - but ultimately no one cares - they get the just of it: It came from space, it made him crazy, one of his sworn enemies gets it and revenge ensued. Purists who will say "it didn't make sense" I invite them to look how believable it is for a spider to bite a guy and have him get super powers. Move on, it was fine.

Eddie Brock, as Venom, was great. The arrogance portrayed by Grace as Brock the "hero" and the subsequent fall from grace was fantastic. The CGI was wicked, and the very best was the made up Brock with his face only showing through. It was as if Todd MacFarlane drew it himself. Perfect.

So, Harry Osborne as the Green Goblin? He can't do it! BS. Harry Osborne a) appeared in more comics as the GG than his dad did, and b) also briefly tried to be a superhero and c) made the exact call that I predicted he would make. I, however, expected him to say "I'm not helping you, I am helping MJ." In the real (reel?) Marvel world, even though Harry knew Spiderman didn't kill his father, he did blame him for driving the man insane - right or wrong, Harry never forgave Peter for the death of his father. 'Evil Pete' however, could have nailed it even more on the head when he said that Norman loved Peter (or at least what he was) more than his own son.


Captain and Gwen Stacey - as a relative purist, I was upset when they went with MJ instead of Gwen in the first movie. Oh well, they started in the mid 1970s instead of the mid 1960s - BFD. This was, unfortunately, an area that could have been far better developed. I am sure it will be in the sequel's. Cromwell looks eerily like Captain Stacey did. Again, his existence in marveldom was a Batman rip-off in the 1970s. Expect the next film to focus on his relationship with Spiderman working together to similar ends through completely different means - "Well, there are some things I can't do...but you, not being constrained by the bill of rights..."

So, what is next? There are TWO main villains left and a slew of minor villains and side-kicks. If I was in charge of the project: Dr. Connors will continue to study the left-over venom bits, understand that it absorbs the characteristics of its hosts and helps them heal. Not being a biologist, he will reason that it is similar to the way that lizard's heal themselves - he will conduct experiments on both of them and ultimately test the final product on himself to grow his arm back. As always happens with late night uncontrolled experiments, it will go poorly.

A man-sized gecko will terrorize New Yorkers while providing the best, and final, challenge for the world's greatest hunter, who will come to New York cravin' to hunt this ferocious beast. In the meantime, the left-over bits of venom will miraculously come back to life. The left over bits referred to above will be Carnage - (their most popular villain in terms of $$) but will be limited to five minutes of screen time and used to bring Spiderman and Venom (lethal protector) together for a common purpose before their final showdown.

After finding and disposing of Carnage, the lethal protector will turn to Spiderman for revenge ("Your friend isn't here to help you anymore") before they can get to heavily into it, Spiderman will rip off his own costume and say "It's me you want" knowing that he can control the costume somewhat (relative to Brock). Unbeknownst to anyone, when the costume abandons Brock for Parker, it will not be able to- because it has been permanently bonded to Brock. Everyone goes to jail.

And Aunt May, will. Probably to a guy who is also the Chameleon.

That said (is it 'nuff) they have enough awesome material to make 10 movies - they have to judiciously pick over it to make the best choices for the franchise. Tobey says "no more." Right.