Deck the Hill with bows of Folly

At a menorah lighting ceremony in Ottawa Monday, the Prime Minister noted that energy intensity is the solution to all of Canada's environmental woes. "If only Canada could get eight days of light out of single drop of oil - It is by improving our energy intensity that we will reduce our GHG emissions."

ENGO critics of the Harper government said "it is a miracle that Harper is talking about the environment, but it will take more than divine intervention to make Canada reduce its anthropogenic releases 6 percent below its 1990 emission levels."

Liberal Leader Stephane Dion praised Santa Claus for his environmental policies - noting that only a true Liberal, Red outfit and all, could use so little energy to go all the way around the world. "In tha' fog," Dion quipped, "Rudolph guides the way with his Red Light. The Red Liberal light." Former leadership rivals all agreed.

Jack Layton, sitting around the festivus poll, noted that Santa Claus was just as bad as Harper and the Liberals. "In terms of the environment, Harper deserves coal in his stocking, but knowing him, he would just burn it." Commenting on the opulence of Parliament, Layton mused "Maybe if everyone in Canada cut its Christmas light decorations in half we wouldn't waste so much energy?"

Elizabeth May, the Federal Green Party Leader, is also not a fan of the yuletide season. "Given the climate change phenomenon, this isn't the Green Christmas I was hoping for," she was heard saying at a recent rally. All she wants for Christmas is her two front seats at the next leadership debates.

Finally, Gilles Duceppe, speaking at a rally in St. Agathe, said that all Quebeckers/quois should believe in Santa. "Le Pere Noel," he said, "a apportez l'esprit du saison en 2006." While Gilles didn't get his 50% plus one in the last federal election that he asked for, he figures that as long as he has a job, no other party will get a majority - and that, he says, "is the greatest Christmas present of all to Quebeckers/quois."