Militant Feminism or a Girl with a Problem?

I apologize for being away for so long. It is almost fall, and I just need to take some time off.

At a cottage party this weekend - which was a bizarre mix of "The Big Chill" and "Le Déclin de l'empire américain" - we sat around a fire and stared into it without saying all that much.

If only to break the silence, I began "I have a feminist question..."

And before I could even get it out - four different women simultaneously chimed in about how unacceptable it was to breast feed at the dinner table. The setting isn't all that more complicated: a woman, who has a baby, finished her dinner and whipped it out to feed her kid. I wouldn't have even noticed if it wasn't for my D-dar. I just shrugged it off and smiled knowing that there would be that much more wine for me as she couldn't have any.

We all love her, and personally, I don't give a shit because if I eat at the table, why shouldn't the baby - but not everyone at the cottage knew her as well as I did.

Frankly, I don't have really strong feelings on the matter. Some times, it just can't wait. Other times, however, when there are lots of other available options for privacy, I have to wonder what is the point of militancy for the point of being militant? She is militant about it - good for her. In a private setting, she doesn't have anything to prove, does she?

If the "sexualization" of the female breast is "problem" that can only be combated by taking it back, so to speak, then - by all means - take it back. If, the breast has multiple purposes, then maybe it should be shrouded moderately. In either case, at least part of it is a "bodily function" and I get up to go to the bathroom. And, if it is the latter, would the same militancy on the other side of the empowerment equation require anyone who wanted a snack the right to get busy in public, right? Decency and manners are sometimes easily confused.

After careful consideration my view is "breast feeding if necessary, but have a look around first." If you can find a place that is even moderately private, why not use it? Is there value in creating a scene if you can avoid it?

I think some A-hole who evicts a woman who has a youngling hanging off of her is just asking for a "get out of heaven free" card. A baby who is crying, looking for a snack from a mother who is out of options should be able to be fed without being harassed. Please, have a seat and feed the little trooper - but invest in a privacy blanket. Is that too much to ask? I don't have to celebrate the joys of motherhood with you, do I?

Remember- I am way more open minded than your average bear- why provoke confrontation? To prove you can do it? Doesn't that seem awfully silly?