Family Politics

Quebec's election has got me to thinkin' - maybe we should look at Canada as a family rather than as a federation.

Ontario is the Daddy. It makes the money and it brings home the bacon. It makes decisions unless everyone else gangs up against it. It works for the neighbour next door who is always flirting with Mommy.

Alberta is the Mommy. It wants to stay, but it has very different priorities than Daddy - especially as he deals with the children. If she left, it would be very painful, very expensive and everyone in the family would be hurt, but both would make it work. If she left Daddy for the neighbour next door, he would screw her as long as she was pretty, but would cast her aside when her looks fail.

Quebec is the bi-polar oldest child. Sometimes it loves Mommy and Daddy. Sometimes it threatens to leave. Voting for Dumont's autonomy is like moving into the basement. It could make it on its own, but it would be living in a studio apartment instead of in the nicest house on the block. If it left the family, it would be a pain for Daddy because there would be no one left to clean out the gutters - but it would get done eventually.

B.C. is the pot smoking uncle that is always trying to deal some weed while flirting with the Asians across the street.

The North, Saskatchewan and Manitoba are the youngest children- they understand that they need mommy and daddy and are learning from them every day. They help out in the kitchen, but often that help makes clean-up harder. They would like a raise in their allowance but aren't sure who to ask for it.

The Maritimes are the retirees who live pretty independently, but still need help from time to time. They are very polite about it, and they are always asking for Mommy, Daddy and the Asians across the street to come for a visit. Because of their hard work a long time ago, mommy and daddy are in a better position to thrive now.

And Newfoundland is the crazy old coot that thinks it can support itself and insists that they have been independent before. They live on dreams of future development and while they have lots of potential - they are completely dependent on Daddy and Mommy (to the point of leaving Newfoundland to go and work there) to survive.